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I am God's little girl.
I am your blessing.
I am your curse.
I am the unique individual.
I.am.ahlee
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PLAYHOUNDD
02 September 2014 @ 12:12 am
I am God's little girl.
I am your blessing.
I am your curse.
I am the unique individual.
I.am.ahlee
28 November 2009 @ 04:18 pm
Fun day yesterday. Got to meet baby and bee together with Nat and D ahahaha! hung out awhile before meeting up with Leo, Arjun and Nigel together with Chris to go for this PWIENZ thingy. Like a game show thing. hahaha! we had fun yeahhh =))
sorry ansari, couldn't go drinking at your place! there's always another time =))
sorry ansari, couldn't go drinking at your place! there's always another time =))
24 November 2009 @ 01:38 pm
"because I stand alone, being there for every being. who will I run to?"Honestly, I miss those times when we have no one around but ourselves. We have each other. We love each other. Nothing needed to be shared. I know things always will change, but the change was worse than I thought. It was more painful than I thought. I lost more than I thought I would. I want nothing but you back. I really do. But seeing you not at your peak, looking at you feel at a loss of emotions, it pains me even more.
You could run to me, because I'll give you the love and comfort you need all the same. But it breaks me even more.
"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do "
22 November 2009 @ 10:52 pm
My 18th was A BLAST. I can vouch for that even people who came! I'm suprised people lied to me they're not coming and came, you people are so sweet. And people whom I don' t know came too and said the party was AWESOME! Thanks all of you!
> Thanks baby for the limited colour headphones, and your full of love card =D Love you FOREVER
> Thanks bee for baking me ultra colourful that make me very happy and touched cupcakes, as well as the really lovely messages with the pretty pictures. Thanks bee, I love you so much! <3
> Thanks Jo for being there all the time, like a lizard, but I love you all the same =))
> Thanks BB and gang for coming =) really haven't seen you in a long time BB! <3 you!
> Thanks Arjun (heehee), Leo the penguin and Nigel the ginger for coming =)) <3!
> Thanks Slurps, JONAS, Pris, Huiting, CHARMAINE FOO! and Alyssa for coming, I FUCKING HAPPY KNOW. love you all <3
> Thanks Onnisa for not clubbing and hanging out with girls but instead, be a bouncer at my chalet =))
> Thanks Darren, Chariot, Ben Loh for coming together with the SCREAM CORE GANG OF PEOPLE <3! you know you all rock my SOCKS!
> Thanks Ethan for renting my chalet for me and being there! =) <3 don't get so drunk next time okay.
> Thanks Solomon, Jun, Yiren, Nic sim, OOMPPA LOOMPA, Giam, The very sweet girl and her boyfriend, CHRIS, CJ, Elroi, Damien. WOO! you all very cute people =)
> THANKS MY 2M02 CLASSMATES FOR COMING, Lex, Christina, Rynna, Daniel and Dedric for coming! You people are awesome! MUACK! <345678
> Thanks my 1B22 classmates for coming, Daniel, Yusof, Steve, Leow, Aidil, you people made my night more freaking awesome!
> THANKS FATINI for coming with baked cupcakes too, IT WAS REALLY DELICIOUS DEAR. <3
> Thanks Marlini and gang for coming =) although your friend took my Chivas and finished it, IT'S OKAY. I love them all the same =) AND OF COURSE BABE. I LOVE YOU. EXCELLENT =D
> Thanks Jolin and Azizul for coming =) Love you two =))
> Thanks Brendon, Weiming, Haziq and the rest for coming, esp Bren, thanks for coming even when you're sick! =) LOVE YOU ALL TOO <3
> Thanks Raymond and bandmates for coming =)) you people were awesome and awesomer soon =) <3
> Thanks zul and girlfriend and Sydney for coming, you three so cute. Like powerpuff girls =D
> THANKS THE REST FOR COMING. No I haven't forgotten you all, I'm just brain blocked now. HAHA <3 I love you all okayyy
Pictures would be up soon. I'm really touched that you all made my party such a happening blastttt. <3 <3 ciaozzz
20 November 2009 @ 03:24 pm
Today's my chalet and I'm boring out here on Oni's laptop. Counting down the time to 7pm where hopefully my peeps would start streaming in. I'm quite pissed because some people are trying to play the "grand entrance" game with me, in which you know? I don't really give a fuck because if you really want to come you would come. I'm sick and tired of saying "please come", so even if only a few people turns up, it's fine. I'll have fun anyway.
oni, jo and emy went to swim while I don't feel like getting out of the chalet. My lazy genes are attacking me. Oh well, hopefully comething nice happens =D
oni, jo and emy went to swim while I don't feel like getting out of the chalet. My lazy genes are attacking me. Oh well, hopefully comething nice happens =D
16 November 2009 @ 11:27 pm
I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance.
Caught in a bad romance.
wait. nothing even started. argh! here we go again
Caught in a bad romance.
wait. nothing even started. argh! here we go again
16 November 2009 @ 01:02 am
Life is a joke when you feel sad all the time and when you always need courage lines for yourself to feel strong. This makes you such a joke.
and to the person who commented on my Lj, it's not hopes pinned on them, it's a kind of return (a kind of 'thank you'?) you expect for throwing aside everything for them. Human nature, to say thank you when given a gift, to exchange presents during Christmas, do you get my drift? lol Hopes are when broken, you break down and cry, but these are merely eq basics. I don't know how to put that in words, but I hope you get what I mean.
Anyway, today was a pretty fun day. I was really pissed with CY okay. But oh well, he looked like he had something up his sleeves so, nevermind =D tomorrow's comm skills test! ahh I hope I can cope with it =D
back to revision. CIAOZ!
and to the person who commented on my Lj, it's not hopes pinned on them, it's a kind of return (a kind of 'thank you'?) you expect for throwing aside everything for them. Human nature, to say thank you when given a gift, to exchange presents during Christmas, do you get my drift? lol Hopes are when broken, you break down and cry, but these are merely eq basics. I don't know how to put that in words, but I hope you get what I mean.
Anyway, today was a pretty fun day. I was really pissed with CY okay. But oh well, he looked like he had something up his sleeves so, nevermind =D tomorrow's comm skills test! ahh I hope I can cope with it =D
back to revision. CIAOZ!
13 November 2009 @ 11:33 pm
Leo, when you said you had a husky I really thought it was a REAL dog not, as you can see from above people, a stuffed toy.
You made me feel damn cheated know!
and there's Chewy at the bottom LOL. sorry it's such a cute sight. Blog worthy!
11 November 2009 @ 09:46 pm
Life's good. Hung out for awhile with Benblebee, got distracted by the bollywood slut :) and mon mon for sb. Met up with ali baby and had good talks with her usual physical boost therapy for me. She's just the light of my life sometimes, troubles don't stay long when she's around. She takes out her funny film camera, snaps pictures of me, stating the word 'hot' with every click, sometimes I feel I don't deserve the love she gives me. I saw slurps for awhile, felt the distance i don't know why and how, but i hope we can catch up soon. :D
I went back to sleep and woke up fully like 15 mins ago, didn't transfer 20$ to chariot bby, I feel damn bad. I'm sorry bby promise will do it tomorrow! remind me though! =)
I haven't moved on from the running trains of thoughts in my mind. Anything, everything I heard, everything that I felt wasn't me. People made it seem I'm made of anything they said. I've lost my sanity, I've lost everything I used to live for. When I step out of my shell, it's nothing but an unfamilar place, everything's in black and white, everybody's judgemental. It makes me feel so naked I can break down and cry. I need out. Let me live a life man.
I <3 angmoh .LOLOLOL love chariot.
I went back to sleep and woke up fully like 15 mins ago, didn't transfer 20$ to chariot bby, I feel damn bad. I'm sorry bby promise will do it tomorrow! remind me though! =)
I haven't moved on from the running trains of thoughts in my mind. Anything, everything I heard, everything that I felt wasn't me. People made it seem I'm made of anything they said. I've lost my sanity, I've lost everything I used to live for. When I step out of my shell, it's nothing but an unfamilar place, everything's in black and white, everybody's judgemental. It makes me feel so naked I can break down and cry. I need out. Let me live a life man.
I <3 angmoh .LOLOLOL love chariot.
11 November 2009 @ 12:26 am
Met up with chariot bby today. I had a good time because we got to chat about how cool we were, planning an impulsed trip to aussie and made our lives a grade higher than normal singaporeans living here being contented with what they are and have, they don't think any further. Instead, they're trapped in their bubble, leading the norms, I was once one of them but aussie made me realise there's more out there.
She told me about how JF wanted to hang out with me while I was being misled by M thinking that JF was a man whore. LOL You know the feeling when you feel something towards someone and vice versa but it didn't work out because of some frustrating lie. argh! once again chariot, I must voice my regret. It's okay round 2's gonna be no ear all eyes.
Through this, it all makes sense that just simply hearing what one has to say about another leads to a stop to something new that can happen. It's stupid and shallow. But this is how singaporeans lead their lives. They're usually groundless when it comes to creating an opinion.
We were talking about how fairytales about cinderella moments only come alive on the other side. where the men knows how to treat a women. Picture this, he wears your cap, puts it back on you, steals a heart warming tongue action kiss while bright neon colourful lights turn themselves on. You like it? well I experienced it. A clear reward for having an open mind.
In this year, the only time I have missed is Aussie and nothing can be more happening than that.
bby, how about a re-enactment? =))
She told me about how JF wanted to hang out with me while I was being misled by M thinking that JF was a man whore. LOL You know the feeling when you feel something towards someone and vice versa but it didn't work out because of some frustrating lie. argh! once again chariot, I must voice my regret. It's okay round 2's gonna be no ear all eyes.
Through this, it all makes sense that just simply hearing what one has to say about another leads to a stop to something new that can happen. It's stupid and shallow. But this is how singaporeans lead their lives. They're usually groundless when it comes to creating an opinion.
We were talking about how fairytales about cinderella moments only come alive on the other side. where the men knows how to treat a women. Picture this, he wears your cap, puts it back on you, steals a heart warming tongue action kiss while bright neon colourful lights turn themselves on. You like it? well I experienced it. A clear reward for having an open mind.
In this year, the only time I have missed is Aussie and nothing can be more happening than that.
bby, how about a re-enactment? =))
06 November 2009 @ 08:30 pm
Somehow, you thought you were in the right all the time. But you didn't recognise the word mutual.
This wasn't a sin, wasn't a crime, but still you felt I should be killed. I won't come back, but you decided I shouldn't go on either.
You think you have knowledge to everything but you know nuts about what's going on. You lack the word trust.
Tell me what's in for me, and let me shiver. Let me cry and break down, let me run back to you. Allow yourself to cast me aside, treat me like a dog, make me want your forgiveness, because it was all worth it after what you went through.
Nothing says more than love torn apart to reveal hate for you, nothing means anything to you now.
I must be miserable because you feel like that now.
mutual. you need to get to know her.
This wasn't a sin, wasn't a crime, but still you felt I should be killed. I won't come back, but you decided I shouldn't go on either.
You think you have knowledge to everything but you know nuts about what's going on. You lack the word trust.
Tell me what's in for me, and let me shiver. Let me cry and break down, let me run back to you. Allow yourself to cast me aside, treat me like a dog, make me want your forgiveness, because it was all worth it after what you went through.
Nothing says more than love torn apart to reveal hate for you, nothing means anything to you now.
I must be miserable because you feel like that now.
mutual. you need to get to know her.
06 November 2009 @ 12:37 am
28 October 2009 @ 11:02 pm
It's funny how people let you down when they get so close to you.
It's funny how people disappoint you time and again when you think they are close to you.
It's funny how people do not give a fuck about you, but they want you to give ten fucks about them.
It's funny how people disappoint you time and again when you think they are close to you.
It's funny how people do not give a fuck about you, but they want you to give ten fucks about them.
24 October 2009 @ 06:41 pm
If you could say anything you want to the person who has hurt you most in life, what would it be? Did you ever confront them? Why or why not? Submitted By |
I wish you were never in my life because then you'll never have the chance to make a part of it so painful, I almost gave up on life.
Never did mate. Because confronting her would mean I am disrespecting her. You could've guessed that it's my mum.
24 October 2009 @ 02:19 pm
Hello everybody! This is my baby <3 Always want to change pampers for her =D
Anyway this week has been a chitty chitty bang bang week, fun no fun fun no fun argh!
Basically I've seen my baby everyday this week and even today! She going to fetch me from work.
Super sweet and cute la she! =D
Went with Jo and friends for drinking last night. It was fun and I LOVE YOU JO.
kk see you all my babies soon sonson and jo <3
20 October 2009 @ 10:52 pm
Today, I found my dream white guy. he's just perfect
Christian Bázan <3
1) He's white
2) KEWL ARMS
3) Hot
4) SPANISH (OMG OMG OMG)
5) Like the bald look =)
6) He's white
7) He's white
8) He's white
9) and the list goes on HUR HUR
I got a fetish for bald young hunkish white guys who look rad in singlets. =)
and when I look around in Singapore, the guys are so mundane I actually literally am LAZY TO DATE ANY. can you imagine. lazy to date. (Y)
Christian Bázan <3
1) He's white
2) KEWL ARMS
3) Hot
4) SPANISH (OMG OMG OMG)
5) Like the bald look =)
6) He's white
7) He's white
8) He's white
9) and the list goes on HUR HUR
I got a fetish for bald young hunkish white guys who look rad in singlets. =)
and when I look around in Singapore, the guys are so mundane I actually literally am LAZY TO DATE ANY. can you imagine. lazy to date. (Y)