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Friends are shit.
Unless you experience them first hand.
They become so precious, you can't let go.
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PLAYHOUNDD
11 May 2011 @ 10:36 pm
20 April 2010 @ 09:31 am
BB. sorry. I guess I took tooo long to return the remaining 25$! By today. I promise!
Anyway, I've lost the zest to blog because I have been happy and frustrated about alot of things and cannot describe myself in words, thus I took the whole damn blog down.
I've been hurt by quite a number of people I love/treasure whether directly or indirectly and I can't put a finger on how disappointed I feel sometimes in these people I placed my friendship in. Some just turned out to be "meat friends", some just turned out to be judgmental people who never made their intentions clear, some just come in and out of my life like as if my feelings towards them is like a hotel. And then I took out my hands and started counting. How many friends I can count on? I used to lost count because I was blinded, but now, I can't even complete the number of fingers on one hand.
Leaving wouldn't be too sad I guess?
There are some feelings that should be released,
until my tears roll down automatically
then I realised that I can't lie about how much I love you.
Now, I must learn to forget
avoiding places you might be there
those memories placed on the shelf
Let it fall from the highest place.
Being touched is a deep feeling,
Being lonely would only hurt me more,
everyone's heart would definitely have a cut
like the innocence of a white paper,
it's like you've cut me real deep.
Falling in love does not need a reason,
Leaving has also no reason for me to turn back.
Let it fall.
20 March 2010 @ 07:48 pm
Can we talk? Nobody's here to talk to me. Blood is thicker than water. An obvious flaw in the phrase itself. Although literally it is, but metaphorically, it's wrong. Blood, referring to family ties or relatives like your cousins, it doesn't mean they'll always be there. They can hate you, backstab you, you may or may not know about it. They can scold you, just when you think it's out of concern, they really don't give a fuck how you actually feel.
In rich families, siblings fight, plot and scheme against each other just for wealth. In a poor family, siblings fight for food for themselves, do anything to break out of the poverty they are suffering even if it takes to turn their face against their family. In an average family, everyfuckingthing is superficial. Siblings care for their welfare only, caring for yours is secondary, all the time. Blood doesn't come in handy anymore does it? Some people might not support this because they rather be politcally correct in believing standard philosophies that are being set by people who might not even practise what they say.
I always believed in trusting nobody but myself. Not even my mother, my brother or my father. Nobody can be trusted. In one way or another they'll hurt you, they'll care for themselves a little more than you, they'll tell you they can never always be there for you, they have the option to give up on you. However, you know, that you are the only one who would never do anything like that to yourself.
I'll hate everyone under this roof, but I can never hate myself, likewise if they are reading this, it proves that blood is thicker than water is not a 100% fact. I dismiss blood. I only care and fend for myself. I love to be selfish, because I can protect myself this way. I'm sorry family members, you all are actually no better.
In rich families, siblings fight, plot and scheme against each other just for wealth. In a poor family, siblings fight for food for themselves, do anything to break out of the poverty they are suffering even if it takes to turn their face against their family. In an average family, everyfuckingthing is superficial. Siblings care for their welfare only, caring for yours is secondary, all the time. Blood doesn't come in handy anymore does it? Some people might not support this because they rather be politcally correct in believing standard philosophies that are being set by people who might not even practise what they say.
I always believed in trusting nobody but myself. Not even my mother, my brother or my father. Nobody can be trusted. In one way or another they'll hurt you, they'll care for themselves a little more than you, they'll tell you they can never always be there for you, they have the option to give up on you. However, you know, that you are the only one who would never do anything like that to yourself.
I'll hate everyone under this roof, but I can never hate myself, likewise if they are reading this, it proves that blood is thicker than water is not a 100% fact. I dismiss blood. I only care and fend for myself. I love to be selfish, because I can protect myself this way. I'm sorry family members, you all are actually no better.
19 March 2010 @ 11:51 pm
Everything seems blur, and only one person can seem to be the only sharp, clear image at one time. When I get distracted by new happenings in my life, nothing seems to matter, but when I attempt to catch with things I used to be involved in, I miss it. But when I want to get back into the game, it seems that I can't sip through what I was once part of anymore. Because, nothing seems natural. It's honestly tiring to be bothered by so many things at once, but then again, I know I can't neglect anything.
Tya's my priority now because I went through alot just to get her home, but I start to miss the people who made and supported me when I realise they're not by me anymore. It's a hurtful yet peaceful feeling, like as if sometimes you just want to break free of all the superficial things that usually happens when you readily get involved in hopes of becoming someone likeable, not neccessary in a popular crowd, but good enough to be fulfilled depends on how greedy a person you are. But then again, I want to dive into the pieces of love from the people who stuck with me. I miss all of you. I really do. Whatever we did together last time, whatever we laughed about last time and so on, I miss every single part of it.
People change, I agree. But perhaps not as much as we think because we always assume that people change when actually they're the ones choosing to feel strange towards the other. I believe people are the same one way or another, it's just somewhere we must dig deep enough to realize they're still the same people we fell in love with be it a relationship or friendship.
which is why, I don't give up on people easily. and I'll always love you my friends.
Tya's my priority now because I went through alot just to get her home, but I start to miss the people who made and supported me when I realise they're not by me anymore. It's a hurtful yet peaceful feeling, like as if sometimes you just want to break free of all the superficial things that usually happens when you readily get involved in hopes of becoming someone likeable, not neccessary in a popular crowd, but good enough to be fulfilled depends on how greedy a person you are. But then again, I want to dive into the pieces of love from the people who stuck with me. I miss all of you. I really do. Whatever we did together last time, whatever we laughed about last time and so on, I miss every single part of it.
People change, I agree. But perhaps not as much as we think because we always assume that people change when actually they're the ones choosing to feel strange towards the other. I believe people are the same one way or another, it's just somewhere we must dig deep enough to realize they're still the same people we fell in love with be it a relationship or friendship.
which is why, I don't give up on people easily. and I'll always love you my friends.
17 March 2010 @ 01:31 pm
YOU THE MOST FUCKING AWESOME CAN. WHEN I WROTE THAT POST I WASN'T THINKING OF YOU! YOU ARE TOO AWESOME A FRIEND TO BE EVEN UNGRATEFULLY THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN TYPING THAT SORT OF THINGS K. BABY YOU MY LOVELIEST MY MOST DARLING FRIEND. =) AND WHATEVER YOU SAID TO ME IN THE MSG, I PROMISE THE SAME TO YOU FOREVER AND EVER =) I LOVE YOU AND I THANK GOD FOR YOU BABY, REALLY! <3<3<3
16 March 2010 @ 09:19 pm
you give and give, you feel genuine towards a person over and over again, you hope and hope, you never stop loving at your best. But nothing ever works vice versa. Nobody remembers, nobody feels the way you feel for them, nobody would be there to surprise you on your birthday, nobody would be there at an ungodly hour when you can't sleep and are feeling down, nobody would cry when you cry. I guess it works this way. and it hurts, real bad.
